10 Greatest Gifts

Steven Vannoy’s, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children, outlines the 10 gifts Vannoy chose to give his children using the 5 Tools. We are not suggesting these are the only gifts that can be chosen, but these are the gifts that Vannoy describes in the book. We invite you to read the book to learn more specifics about these gifts.

The Gift of Feeling Fully

“Feeling fully, to me, means life itself. Knowing and experiencing their emotions is a gift I want with all my heart for my children.”

“Children will only escalate their behavior when we force them to deny who they really are or what they are really feeling.”

Chapter 7 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children

The Gift of Self-Esteem

“When you know your children have strong self-esteem, you don’t have to worry about how to control their contact with others. You can’t really control it anyway. But you can remind your children of how wonderful they are and how lucky those other kids will be when your child’s values rub off on them.”

Chapter 8 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Compassion

“Being compassionate means coming from a special place in your heart and mind, appreciating and valuing everything and everyone’s place in the grand scheme of life. I know that’s difficult some days so be compassionate with yourself too, and acknowledge yourself for doing as well as you are.”

Chapter 9 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Balance

“I want them to know that the journey of life includes both pain and joy, work and play. Each one teaches you about the other. They all keep a life healthy and productive.”

“When is it that our children move from that glorious ‘Oh, boy, guess what I get to do today?’ to that soul-numbing, ‘Oh man, guess what I have to do today?'”

Chapter 10 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Humor

“Without a sense of humor, life can be colorless, a terrible burden. With it, we enjoy the process of living. We have more joy to share with others. And we might even live longer with less stress and health problems.”

The innocent comments of children that inspire humor:

  • “Grandmother’s Easter dress was beautiful. It even had a hat that rhymed.”
  • “The two unusual things about grand dad are the way he sleeps out loud and his hair is wearing out.”
  • “Ali came home from kindergarten one day after her teacher had been talking about the human race. ‘Daddy,’ she asked, ‘whre’s the human race? Can we go watch it?'”

Chapter 11 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Communication

“Good communication also means that we don’t say things that belittle people. It means being aware of other people’s needs and honoring where they are and what they feel.”

“You could earn a Ph.D. in listening but you still won’t be a good listener if you don’t want to listen.”

Chapter 12 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Abundance

“In my family it means we have endless opportunities for fun, humor, nurturing better qualities and values, a deeper level of enjoyment of all of our current and past activities, and always, always another chance.”

Chapter 13 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Integrity

“Integrity, to me, is how you act when no one is watching, when no one knows what you’re doing. It’s always telling the truth, clearing up misconceptions or partial truths. It’s never knowingly hurting anybody or anything.”

Chapter 14 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Responsibility

“The ability to make smart little choices inevitably leads children to trust themselves to make more important choices about the big issues in life, too.”

Chapter 14 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children 

The Gift of Conscious Choice

“To me, the gift of conscious choice means not operating ‘on automatic,’ not always reacting out of the back side of the energy map instead of acting proactively from the forward side.”

Chapter 15 of The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children